Every nonprofit fundraiser knows this to be true, even if we do not always practice it well. Stories move people. They help donors see themselves inside the work. They turn programs into people and outcomes into meaning.

Storytelling matters because humans are wired for it. Long before we had spreadsheets, impact reports, or CRM systems, we had stories. Stories help us decide what matters, what lasts, and where we belong.

But there is a caveat we do not talk about enough.

A beautifully crafted story, told to the wrong person or told before you understand who is listening, rarely does what you hope it will do.

At its core, fundraising comes down to three things:

• Talk to enough people.
• Talk to the right people.
• Have something meaningful to talk about.

Our stories are the “something.” But finding the right people is not about broadcasting those stories louder or faster. It is about slowing down enough to know who is sitting across from us.

Too often, we confuse storytelling with talking. We word-vomit every wonderful thing we do, hoping something sticks. Sometimes it does. Often, it does not.

Real connection happens differently.

Finding the Right People Starts with Curiosity

The only way to know whether your story will resonate is to understand the person hearing it. That understanding does not come from pitching. It comes from asking purposeful questions, listening carefully to the answers, and responding with thoughtful follow-up.

This is not interrogation. It is relationship-building.

Some of my favorite questions open doors donors rarely get to walk through with nonprofits:

1. What was your first memory of money?
2. What was the most meaningful gift you ever made, and why was it meaningful? (Note: not the largest; the most meaningful.)
3. What was the best giving experience you have ever had?
4. What was the worst?
5. What is important to you about money?
6. How are you passing on your values about money to your children or grandchildren?
7. Who is involved in making giving decisions in your family?
8. How often do your advisor, attorney, or CPA talk with you about charitable giving?
9. How do you decide which causes or organizations to support?
10. Would you describe your giving as proactive or reactive?

None of these questions are about your organization. Every one of them is about the donor. And that is the point.

When we listen well, our stories naturally change. We emphasize different outcomes. We frame impact differently. We connect the work to what already matters to them.

Listening is not a Soft Skill. It is a Strategic One.

If nonprofits want deeper trust and larger, more enduring gifts, listening cannot be accidental. It has to be designed.

That means committing to what I think of as intentional listening exercises:

Regular stewardship interviews with your most loyal donors, even when you are not asking for a gift.
Donor satisfaction surveys for supporters you cannot engage personally.
Inviting loyal donors into review sessions or focus groups before major plans are finalized.
Designing events to be conversational, not performative, with a simple goal that every donor feels heard.

Listening at this level requires humility. It also requires courage. You will hear things you did not expect. Some of it will be uncomfortable. All of it is valuable.

From Donor Profiles to Donor Biographies

Most nonprofits have donor profiles. Very few have donor biographies.

A profile tells you what a donor gives and when. A biography helps you understand who they are.

True donor biographies capture the intangibles:

1. What animates their life?
2. Which cause became personal and why?
3. What is an early life story that embodies their essence?
4. Where they have experienced their greatest joy, sorrow, or disappointment?
5. Who shaped their thinking?
6. Which lessons endured?
7. What they most want to pass on?
8. What concerns them?
9. What gives them hope?
10. The words and ideas they return to again and again?

This is not data for data’s sake. It is insight that allows you to steward, invite, and partner well.

The Questions that Build Trust

Listening also means asking donors how you are doing, and being ready to hear the answer.

Questions like:

1. Have we made you feel valued?
2. Do you feel informed about where we are going?
3. Do you feel you have a voice in shaping that direction?
4. Do you understand the impact of your giving?
5. Is our vision clear and compelling enough to share with others?
6. Do you feel understood when you meet with us?
7. Do you trust us to honor your intentions?
8. Where do we rank among your philanthropic priorities?
9. What could we learn from organizations you prioritize more highly?

How you ask matters as much as what you ask. Openness. Sincerity. Non-defensiveness.

Trust grows when donors see that their feedback changes how you show up.

The Takeaway

Storytelling will always matter in nonprofit fundraising. But stories do their best work only when they are grounded in deep listening.

If you want better fundraising results, start by talking less and listening more. Build systems that honor donor voices. Replace assumptions with curiosity. Let your story meet people where they already are.

When nonprofits close the gap between what they hope donors will do and what donors hope nonprofits will be, something powerful happens.

They become worthy partners for the impact that donors want to make.